Right, let me paint a picture for you...

It's my first time teaching. I've got a class full of anti-social teenagers that don't want to talk to each other. Some are staring out the window, some are whispering about pubs after class, and a few are totally being "discrete" playing CoolMathGames. I need to get them all engaged with a single activity. Ideally, talking together. As a group. 

That is exactly what WarioWare Inc. was built for, and if you give me a few paragraphs, I'll tell you why.

WarioWare Inc. (I'll just call it WarioWare from here on out if you don't mind, with all due respect to Wario's corporate business) is pure flair. If you haven't heard of it, the game's main gimmick is that of "Micro-Games". These are essentially just 2-5 second Mini-Games. Wario puts his foot on the gas and doesn't let go until credits, it appears. As such, I figured it would be a good diving board for TinyHammer's first review, even with how odd the game can get, it's not that hard to wrap your head around.

As I wrote before, WarioWare's biggest push is it's micro-games. Games are broken into character themes. For example, the nightmare-inducing Jimmy T's games are simply "sports" themed, while Dr. Crygor might have the more difficult-to-explain "Reality" themed games.

Honestly, For it's debut, WarioWare knocks it out of the park. The games are simple enough to understand in seconds, funny even when you don’t, and weird enough to stick with you.

Look, there's no other word for it: this game is WEIRD. There's games about picking noses, games about getting Wario dressed (I don't think anyone wants to do that...actually don't correct me I don't want to know), and a game where you hit a nail while a creepy-looking bald guy stares at you.

This aspect is WarioWare's biggest strength, if you ask me. That story from before, I didn't choose WarioWare for my students at random, it makes an impact. WarioWare doesn't really let go, to the point where you thinking about a goddamned hyper-realistic Wario eating fruit while you’re trying to sleep.

This game oozes charm. One minute you are playing a SHMUP with accurate arcade-styled sprites, the next you are helping a crayon drawing of a girl blow her nose. This is something that the later entries lean on hard, and I don't blame them for doing so. There is no game that feels like WarioWare, and it has that perfect balance of staying readable while striking out on the visuals.

WarioWare's soundtrack is extremely memorable, which makes sense, as this game was made by the same team that would later go on to create the Rhythm Heaven games. The key stand out's are the character themes, which play before and after every stage. The actual stage themes...not so much. Don't get me wrong, they are fun little bops, but you won't be whistling them anytime soon, which is obviously the objective way to judge a songs quality.

With WarioWare being a handheld game, its portable nature makes it perfect for a "pick up and play a stage again for 10 minutes while I wait for the bus" style of play. If anything, that works in the game's favour. If you play the entire game in one sitting, which is not hard since it is a short game, you start to notice that some of the micro-games are quite... similar in mechanics. This is avoided entirely if you keep the replays in short bursts, and it actually makes replaying this game feel strangely relaxing.

All of this comes together into something that feels almost like an experience rather than just a game. That was my view when bringing it to my lesson in the first place. WarioWare and Game Design as a whole isn't something you sit down and "study" in a traditional sense, it's something that forces the attention out of you whether you like it or not.

As a first entry for TinyHammer, it feels almost too perfect to not review this game first. It is chaotic, slightly uncomfortable (seriously why is Jimmy T proportioned like that), and is incredibly memorable in a way that sticks far longer than you'd expect.

If you haven't already, go and play WarioWare! You could probably smash it out in an hour if your reaction speed is good enough. Thank you for reading my thoughts on this one-of-a-kind game. Send me a message over on Bluesky if you have any requests or feedback.

_{If you'll excuse me, there’s a sudden need to balance something extremely precarious for 5 seconds.}